In the last part of this personality development series, I talked about how to change your inner world and mindset to improve and enhance your personality (Link- How to improve your personality?). In this part, we are going to discuss what physical and tangible changes we can make to get people influenced by our persona. To change the physical aspect of our personality, first, we should we correcting the inner chaos which occupies our mind. I hope you must have gone through that article and then come to this, it will help you better this way. So let’s start
BENEFITS OF HAVING AN AMAZING PERSONALITY
Although having a good mindset is the base of your confidence but how you look outside also plays a vital role in your confidence and personality. Suppose one day you are wearing a shirt which doesn’t match with your pants, is not ironed, your pants are torn, your shoes are not polished, and your hygiene is also not good( bad body odor, oral health, uncombed hairs), then I am sure you won’t feel much confident while at public place or dealing with people. On the other hand, if you are well dressed on a particular day with polished shoes and proper hygiene, these things will shoot your confidence to next level.
Many people say that someone’s inner personality is far more important than his outer appearance; I also think the same way but why not use your good looks as a tool to bring people in your favour or manipulate them in a positive way. Beautiful things release dopamine hormone in the body of the person seeing that thing and thus makes them feel good, so why not use your good looks, your improved dressing sense, fashion sense and hygiene in your favour as a tool to attract people.
TIPS TO IMPROVE PERSONALITY
Look Good– The first and the very basic principle of having an approachable personality is to “Look Good”. Having an eye catching and appealing appearance is combination of many things and you have to pay attention to every detail of your looks from formal clothing to casual wear, you have to take care of many things. Also remember you have to look good but don’t be too conscious about your looks, it will make you look nervous. Don’t worry about getting judged by the people.
You have to develop your fashion sense and fashion sense is not about one thing but it is a holistic approach to improve your dressing. At first you should understand the color matching, secondly you need to learn to dress according to the occasion, thirdly your clothes should not look repetitive, fourth you should buy such clothes which stays in fashion for a long time. To sum up in one line you should be learning some basics of fashion.
Take Care of your Personal Hygiene– Sometime it happens that your body odor make people nearby uncomfortable. Women specially are highly sensitive to body odor and they can feel it and it might make them uncomfortable, so it’s for all the boys out there to take care of “how you smell on your date with that special women”.
To smell good, take bath properly with a good quality soap. You should be using some good quality deodorant or perfume. You can try some herbal deodorant which at the same time doesn’t harm your skin. You should also try avoiding some foods like onion, garlic etc. which stimulate your body odor.
Improve your body language– To make your impression on people you should also work on your body language. Your body language is part of the Non-Verbal communication which you make with other person before opening verbal communication. In some cases, body language is the only thing which you can use to make your first impression on the other person. Bad body language can hamper your chances of good impression on that other person, so you should try to improve your body language.
You should have open body language, while talking to someone you should not fold your arms, have proper eye contact (but don’t state, balance is the key), have your hands at sides hanging near your thighs, or you can also use your moving hand to make your point understand to that other person, try your palms are facing the person you are talking to. You shouldn’t fold your legs. You should also take care of your body posture and if there is something to be corrected in your posture then you should do that with help of exercises.
Meditation, Exercises and diet- This is the most important part of looking good and having a great personality. Meditation makes you feel good from inside and that good feeling also reflects on your outer appearance. So you can start meditation with simple “Pranayams” and then can move to advance meditation.
People say you should exercise atleast 20 minutes a day, but I would say you start exercising according to your physical condition and consult your doctor before starting. You can do anything like yoga,running, dance , sports like cricket, badminton, football, etc. But I would suggest most people to join a gym and start weight training as it is less time consuming and it develop your body in a structure giving every part of your body a proper shape and size. Also it releases dopamine- a feel good hormone, which remove your stress and makes you feel good about yourself.
Exercise is not enough to get a good body or personality; you should complement your exercise with a healthy diet. You should have knowledge about micro-nutrients and macro-nutrients( at least basic knowledge). You should avoid junk food and include veggies and those food in your diet which have balanced amount of protein, fats, carbohydrates, vitamin and minerals. Also remember to keep yourself hydrated all day.
Work on your communication skills– Your communication skills define your personality to other people so you should improve your communication skills. And communication skills not only include verbal communication but also non-verbal communication. You should learn how to approach new people and be friends with them, how to hold conversation with people and make it interesting with your charm, wits and sense of humor. You should have a command and fluency on languages.
Ask open ended questions so that you can hold conversation for a long time. Open-ended questions are those which don’t have answers in one word and close- ended questions are those which have one word answers. Involve in people as much as you can and develop a talking and communication style of your own.
Sense of humor– Don’t take yourself too seriously and see the funny side of life. It will make you stress free and increase your likeability. Everyone likes a happy person. Develop sense of humor, it is a very important part of communication skills. You can do it by watching comedy serials and reading books, cracking jokes with your friends which are not intended to insult them, it will give you confidence to crack jokes with strangers.
Meet new people- This is the most important part of your personality development because people new people impact your personality a lot and you learn new things from new people. It happens when you meet new people, you are nervous and feel uncomfortable while talking to them and when you spend some time with them you become comfortable and it happens every time when you meet someone new, so it keeps your mind working and with time and by meeting more and more people you lose this nervousness and get more comfortable in meeting new people. Expand your network , remember “Network is Networth”.
Learn to deal with People– You not only have to meet people but you also have to deal with them so why not do it like a pro. The very basic thing you need to learn about people is that no one likes criticism and if you criticize people ( even if they are wrong), they will justify themselves and will not commit there mistake. So try to avoid criticism as much as you can, let people feel there mistake, that would be more impactful.
Compliments is another tool which you can use to win people, but remember compliments should be genuine and not fake because fake compliments can be easily understood by intelligent people and it will do no good to you in the long run.
Greet everyone with a smile. If you are feeling shy in approaching someone and unable to gather courage to talk to that person, a simple smile can do wonders for you, just smile looking at that person and you will get your answer whether that person is interested in talking to you or not.
Learning attitude– Learning new skills can improve your personality and can take it to another level. You should try to develop a learning attitude in yourself for life because it will not make you stagnant and you will be continuously learning and improving your life. To have a complete personality you can consider learning skills like dancing, singing , music, painting , public speaking , different languages, cooking, some other skills. To learn these you can take hobby classes or you can take help of YouTube ( in case you are tech-savvy).
Personal Branding– “Brands are the solution” and if that brand is you than what’s good than that? So you should try to create a personal brand out of your personality. You can do that with the help of internet- Start writing blogs, Create your Youtube Channel, Use Social Media to market yourself and your skills, use different media channels to increase your popularity and market your skills.
Time Management- Time management is also an important skill which you should consider to learn in order to improve your personality. As you know we all have equal time in our hands but what differs successful people from unsuccessful people is time management. So try to manage your time, be conscious of things, activities and people which kill your time and are not productive and avoid them.
Read books to expand your mind – When you read book and those too good books, it expands your mind and improves your personality. Be open to knowledge because knowledge is power and it brings you lot of fortunes. Expand, enhance and polish your knowledge as much as possible.
For personality development you can read self-help book. In self-help category, you can read writers like Shiv Khera(You Can Win), Robin Sharma( Who will cry, when you die, The Monk who sold his Ferrari etc.), Dale Carnegie( How To Win Friends & Influence people) , Napoleon Hill( Think and Grow Rich). You can also read my blogs to develop your personality.
Put your phone down, Spend time with family and friends– Although technology has made our life a lot easier, yet it has created a situation of social awkwardness in our daily life. Instead of meeting people and make them feel your presence; we prefer calling or messaging them to wish on festivals, birthdays, anniversaries and other special occasions. While doing some important work like having dinner or lunch, we are less attentive to that work and are lost in our phone for the time being.
Sometime there arises situation of social awkwardness in a social gathering or while meeting or facing someone, then instead of facing that situation and getting over it we try to avoid it by picking out our phone from pocket and use it just to avoid that situation. Isn’t it? , so put your phone down and spend time with your family, friends and those uncomfortable people.
Identify and avoid bad habits – Our habits create our personality, so try that you have more good habits in comparison to bad habits. Identify your bad habits and eliminate them from your life and identify good habits and grow & enrich them so that they can bring a positive change in your personality and life.
Avoid TV and gossip– These are two stuff which takes and kills most of your time. TV is often called ‘Idiot Box’ because it actually makes you idiot and time spend on it is not productive. While gossiping you mostly talk negative about someone which damage your relations and kills your time and Is not productive.
Set goals, ask why, plan , execute, fail, and achieve– Life without purpose is waste or we can say you are spending time and not living your life to the fullest. So you should find your purpose, set goals which gives meaning to your life and add value to your life and society, ask yourself why you want to achieve them? And plan to accomplish those goals, execute them, even if you fail initially, you should keep trying to achieve them and finally you will achieve them.
Have a Mentor– You should find a mentor to improve your personality, who is an influencer and has expertise in his field and can guide you to improve your personality. Your mentor can be some of your friend, relative, a youtuber, celebrity or anyone whom you admire and inspires you.
SKILLS WHICH WILL IMPROVE YOUR PERSONALITY INSTANTLY
Face camera– Facing camera and recording your videos can improve your public speaking skills a lot, it is lot safer to face camera before facing the real audience because camera will not make fun of you even if you do something awkward in front of it. It will improve your public speaking skills and body language at the same time.
Learn public speaking and eliminate stage fear– Start taking initiative to improve your public speaking skills. For this you can join classes, attend seminar, attend public function where you get chance to interact with people. According to some surveys, people have more fear of facing audience on stage in comparison to fear of death, so remove this fear to improve your personality.
Approach people specially opposite gender- A key lesson which you can take away from this article to improve your personality instantly within few days is to start approaching new people, specially opposite gender. If you visit a Hotel reception then instead of enquiring with Male receptionist talks to female receptionist (in case you are a male) and vice-versa (in case you are a female). You can make a rule of approaching at least three people a day and you will start seeing changes in your personality within few days.
Say ‘yes’ to every Invitation and host parties- If you have been an introvert all your life want a change in your personality then you should start accepting most of the invitation you get, and attend social gathering, it will make you extrovert and improve your personality. You can also host parties for your friends and relatives and this way you can remove your social awkwardness.
Earn money and learn to manage money– Earning money is very important for you to be independent. It gives you “Absolute freedom”, it gives you confidence to face the world and fulfill your desires which ultimately improve your personality. Earning money is not enough for happy life, you also need to learn to manage it and invest accordingly to increase its value.
To improve external aspect you should mainly focus on looking good and at the same time work on your inner beauty. Love yourself and embrace positive self-talk, remove self-doubt, choose friend wisely. Make good impression on people you meet, retain and maintain your relation, don’t lose your individuality, Have good manners, Keep your promises and don’t leak secrets of others. Don’t worry about people judging you and don’t judge others too. Be open-minded and accept anything for good.
Travel more and learn more, meet more and more people. Have refreshing and variety in life and start enjoying it to have an impressive personality.